Sick.....!

Today's oral just sucks!!!!!!!!!!!! I dunno wad overcome me today but i was spouting nonsense and the teacher was looking at me thoughtfully and frowning!! Such a wonderful present for my coming b'day! HA! My foot! Moreover, i'm gonna get back my exams also around my b'day, just what the heck! I think i really must learn to control my emotions but i'm physically and emotionally tired. My b'day is approaching and here i am not lookin forward to it. There'll be problems that i will anticipate though i agree that i may be too paranoid....and also it's because that means that i have grown older...more white hair and problems and responsibilities.....

I think i'd rather not think about it as it gave me the shivers. I also have a gut feelin that i'm not gonna do well for my chemistry. Imagine having a shock before the chem paper. Though i know that i cannot use the reason of having a shock as an excuse but at least it makes me feel better. i dunno if it's correct or not but i'm too tired to think....

To think or not to think...that is the question

Hmm, i'm at a lost to how to start....basically these days i feel that it never rains but it pours. At one shot, i'm suddenly overwhelmed with many problems especially my studies basically. How can a freaking exam be so so hard? Can never stop asking myself that. Like as if that's not enough, many other things are coming up. Feel like there's a rope that is twining round my neck, choking my life out of me, slowly and slowly and slowly.....hmm, think that's too melodramatic.

I sometimes wonder if it's possible to pretend that something is not true though you have heard enough 'experts' saying otherwise. I mean i noe that i'm not really experienced in seeing things like that but still i dun like to think about it. Kinda freak me out but i still have to face it. I just pray that at least my nightmare won't come true. I dun want to hurt anyone but i noe that life will never be so pure innocent and free of pain. That'll be too naive.

This week i've learnt a lot about appreciating my life better. A close relative of mine died in the hospital and i've been visiting her for some time before she passed away. I see many things itn the hospital that make me be thankful for the healthy body that i have and not to abuse it. Feels great to know that you're healthy and that you can do anything you want instead of being bedridden. It also make me realize that i should treasure my life as life is just too short. This teaches me that i will have to make the most and best of my life out of this short period of time in this world and not just live on regrets.